Trying Era: Shedding…

Hey guys! I haven’t consistently updated this after each episode because I really wanted to use this as a means to give more context when I want to. That being said, I would like to elaborate on some of what I discussed this week.

In my most recent episode, I delved into something a little more personal to me. I wasn’t expecting it to be something I struggled to make because when talking with people, I can usually speak to my experience about this well. That being said, I think putting it in audio/video form on the internet, really triggered the bullied inner child in me. One of the things that absolutely keeps coming up is “will someone see/hear this and make fun of me?” which is a typical response when you have been judged harshly for your appearance starting in your formative years and continuing beyond. As a result, the episode is rather short and it even ends abruptly because I just wanted to put it out there - I didn’t want to keep thinking about the execution. After all, I am in my trying era and no one should expect a perfect podcast episode!

So this week, I shared about shedding identities and personal realities. The biggest one I have “shed” but also continue to shed, is my weight.

I grew up as an obese kid here in Orange County, California. It is not an exaggeration to say obese - as mentioned on my episode, I even ended up being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at 14. I was bullied mercilessly. To the point where I actually don’t remember most of the interactions - I just know they happened. I also know that nearly every limiting belief I have about myself starts with the bullying I endured and have worked to shake my entire life.

I am incredibly proud of all the inner work I’ve done, the self-awareness I have developed, and inner healing I have gifted myself. That being said, the bullying insecurities I have run deep and continue to. This is something I will continue to work through and share as time goes on through my podcast, instagram, and this blog.

For anyone that has taken the time to read this - thank you.